The Duties and Responsibilities of A Best Man At A Wedding


At A Wedding Congratulations! You have been asked to be the best man …. now what? As the best man you are not just a glorified groomsman. You actually are trusted with certain responsibilities to deal with. Being the leader of the groom’s party, you are expected to perform several duties. You will want to sit down and talk to the groom making sure if he expects something from you that is not among the usual things that a typical best man needs to take of.  In this article we are going to talk about a few tasks that are generally expected from the best man.

You will be expected to serve as the groom’s personal assistant and counselor before and during the wedding. Depending on your relationship with the groom this could mean; holding him back when he wants to bolt, or offering an open door to make sure he is ready to commit. It will also mean making those last minute runs back to the hotel for the forgotten cuff-links, tie, ring, etcetera.

Another duty of the best man is to help the groom choose (if the bride has not already made the choices for you) and rent his tux. If you have no strong feeling on the matter, or have horrible fashion sense, be sure to consult with the bride. You will also want to make sure that the other groomsmen are aware of, and take action to get matching rentals. You may also be responsible for arranging or verifying accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen. You wouldn’t want anyone left out in the cold.

One of the most famous and most fun duty you are responsible for is planning the bachelor party. If party planning isn’t your thing don’t worry. You don’t have to manage this all on your own though. Ask the other groomsmen to help you out, most guys don’t mind this task. Make sure you talk to the groom before booking anything too risqué, he may have specific instructions from his bride-to-be to avoid certain activities on his big night out.

You will be expected to be present at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner with the bride and groom and all the other attendants. This is an important event where you will find out where to walk and stand for the service. Make sure that you have the day off from work since these things usually take place the day before the wedding which will most likely be a work day for you.

You will hold a place of honor by standing beside the groom at the altar. You also get the prestigious task of holding the bride’s ring until vows are exchanged. Find a safe place for the ring and make sure that it gets to the altar with you. It makes a funny scene in a movie when the best man “loses” the ring but you don’t want to be responsible for that drama in real life. Along with your place of honor you and the maid of honor will sign the marriage license as a witness after the ceremony.

Periodically you will want to round up the other guys and touch base with them to make sure they are performing their groomsman duties. Be sure to talk to your groom so you will know who is supposed to be responsible for what tasks. By knowing ahead of time you can follow up on them and make sure that things are running smoothly and your groom can sleep easier.

On the day of the wedding you will get to act like the couple’s personal baker. The groom will give you any final payments that need to be delivered to vendors on the day of the event. Make sure that you have discrete envelopes that are clearly marked with the vendors’ names on the outside. You don’t need to have the amount of the payment listed, however. Give the officiant his fee just after the ceremony. Check with the bride and groom for details on when other vendors are supposed to receive their payment. You will be expected to collect any gift envelopes guests bring to the reception. You may be asked to drop them in the couple’s bank account or at least to keep them safe until the couple arrives back from their honeymoon.

Another enjoyable duty you have is to decorate the getaway car. Here is another place where you can enlist the help of the other groomsmen and the bridesmaids. Everyone will enjoy a chance to be creative and wish the newlyweds a safe, fun evening. Be sure to check with the couple as you may be expected to drive the happy couple home after the reception. This would mean that you would need to be sober the entire night, a good thing to know ahead of time.

The last, most important, and most frightening task is to give the first toast to the newlyweds. And often you do the toasting, you might want to give a short speech. Using part of a song, poem, or quote will help you break the ice as a nice opener. Another great ice breaker is a top 10 list. It’s also the one thing permissible to read from a sheet and it is easy to get the ball rolling. Don’t get carried away though, while you should speak slowly and clearly, you shouldn’t do so for more than two or three minutes. Remember the old adage K.I.S.S – keep it simple stupid. It’s fine to tell a quick, explicatory story, but launching into anything too lengthy makes it hard to sit through. Remember everyone is waiting for dinner and they are hungry! Leave out any inside jokes and crude remarks. Another good idea is to leave the drinking until after the toasts. While you may feel less jittery after a few cold ones you might stray from your intended path and end up recounting what a wonderful time the groom had at the strip club for his bachelor party, Yikes! Make sure that you take the time to rehearse. You want to be confident that you know what you are going to say but that doesn’t mean that you have to whip out a stack of 3×5 note cards. The first few times you recite your best man’s speech and/or toast out loud, find the spots where you stumble or skip words and either delete or rewrite them. As soon as the kinks are worked out, practice, practice, practice!

Being a best man comes with a lot of responsibilities and duties but it also is a great honor. The groom is showing that he trusts you more than any of his other friends. You will be sure to rise to this situation and make your groom proud! Go out there and show them how it’s done!

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