When The Best Man Happens To Be A Woman


It’s not necessary that all opposite sex best friends would eventually fall in love with one another and end up being spouses. But that’s not our topic today.

On rarest of rare occasions you would find a woman playing the role of the “best man” at a wedding. It’s unusual but not weird. Imagine if your best friend is a girl and you don’t have a brother, you could always ask her to be your best man (or woman) at your wedding. Yes, the guests will be surprised but the earth is not going to be shattered.

On the other hand if you happen to be the woman who has been asked by her best friend to be his best man, let me assure you, you definitely aren’t the first woman who has been approached with such a proposal. Now, the big question is should you agree to take the responsibility? Well, apparently there’s no reason why you should disappoint your friend say “No” to such a huge honor but there could be a few things that you might want to contemplate before you agree.

It is believed that women tend to get jealous easily. May be you don’t but what about the woman who’s getting married to your friend? How does she feel about the relationship you have with her husband-to-be? Is she comfortable with that?

Since the best man is one of the key personalities in a wedding and occasionally the spotlight would be on you especially during the wedding reception party. You need to somehow figure out if the bride is going to like it at all. Even for the most generous woman it might not be easy to see some other woman stealing the show on what is supposed to be her big day.

In a situation like this you have quite a few options to choose from.

Talk to the groom and ask him if he really want you to become the best man. Ask him if the bride is aware of it and even warn him that she could have some inhibitions about it.

If possible get friendly with the bride and try to guess how she feels about your relationship with the groom. If you are concerned about your wedding speech share with her the topics you’ve included in the speech. Even better, do not bring up any story or comment that have the remotest chance of upsetting her.

To be honest, if the bride is conservative (or not generous … I hope you understand what I mean), she is not going to endorse it from inside anyway. So, if you have to become the best man try to perform your duty gracefully. Avoid controversy, stay low key and do your best not to upset her by any means.

You have a few other options like offering to be one of the ushers (a woman usher is not that unusual) and letting a male friend of the groom to become the best friend instead.

As far as organizing the bachelor party is concerned, you could take help of one of the groomsmen. Sit together and decide if it’s going to be a typical boys-only thing or if you girls also want to participate – it’s important to arrive at a consensus and act accordingly.

Finally, about your “best woman speech”, it would pretty much be like a best man speech. There are a lot of articles on the topic and so, I would better refrain from repeating them here. Simply browse through the them and you would soon figure what it takes to make the best speeches.

At the end, once again, don’t worry about it too much. If the groom (and hopefully the bride) thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to have a female best man (I know it’s confusing … but you know what I mean, right?), you should stop worrying about your eligibility to become one. Be positive and enjoy the experience – you might not ever get another chance to be a best man in your life again.

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