Wedding Speeches – The DO’s and The DON’Ts


The Bride and Groom A wedding is a very important event for the people who participate, but especially for the bride and the groom. Being the most significant day of their lives, everyone tries try to make it as perfect as they can for the bride and groom.

The tradition of making wedding speeches is a part of the wedding and is a wonderful way to celebrate the occasion. Being chosen or asked to make a speech should be a distinction for the chosen person or, in some of the cases, for the chosen people. It represents a very important part of the event and it is a very well-known tradition, among others (like bride kidnapping).

The crowd, the groom and the bride expect a well said speech and it might be told by individuals close to the wedding couple – the father of the bride, the maid of honor, the best man happen to be the prime speakers.

Here are some advice (do’s and don’ts) for obtaining the best man speeches, appreciated by everyone.

There are many things that should be done and said during a wedding speech. It’s quite natural that the person who is making the speech to the gathering is often nervous in this situation. Confidence is one of the most important basics of making a speech like this. Having self-confidence is very helpful with facing the stress and the emotions and its absence might represent a serious problem. A good tip might be practicing the speech (and this applies only if those who are going to make the speech know about that and they can exercise their talking). Projecting the voice it is an old and famous way to get attention when talking.

The first thing all wedding speakers would want to do is introduce themselves to the guests attending the wedding. If the father of the bride is making a speech, he should thank everyone for coming and being a part of the the event. He is considered one of the hosts, besides the groom, the bride, and the father of the groom. If the maid of honor is making a speech, she should thank everyone very politely. Also, being kind is a very precious advantage.

Here’s a real time saver!

Relating some events about the groom and the bride should be a significant point of the speech. It is very important to emphasize the relationship between the groom and the bride and also some of the funniest events and gestures made by them or by their relatives. This will give the speech both solemnity and some entertainment. It is not a funeral and the atmosphere should be calm and relaxed for everyone. This is a “do” for the maid of honor, not for the father of the bride, and the events related should be funny, important, but never embarrassing for those who are spoken, especially if it is about the groom or the bride.

There should be eye contact with the crowd or the more special people who participate at the event while talking. An important “don’t” is avoiding looking on the wall or around the room. It is a normal thing to show the emotions about the events, but the one who’s talking should not be overwhelmed by them, especially if the father of the bride speeches. This is an important thing when making a speech at a wedding.

The speech should not last for more than five to seven minutes at most, otherwise, as experienced in most cases, it would become boring and dry. It’s not easy to keep the audience engaged for a long time especially when you are not sure of your ability to amaze an audience with your speech. Although there might be a lot of stories worth mentioning, only the best two or three should be shared. Typically the maid of honor and the best man have several experiences to share with guests as they are close to the bride and the groom and experienced several humorous moments with them that are worth mentioning. But they should again limit themselves to a only a few really interesting ones.

Though wedding speeches ought to have some personal touch, the speaker must avoid sharing secrets of the groom or the bride in public. This would be very humiliating for them and the wedding would be discredited.

Making too many jokes must be avoided. If the jokes are relevant to the topic the crowd should definitely find them entertaining, but laughing too much and too loud would make the elderly guests unhappy. So, that would be another “don’t”.

If the one who talks is drunk, then he or she would find it extremely difficult to make a speech properly. A good tip would be to avoid drinking too much – it would be embarrassing both for the groom and the bride as well as the speaker. This is one of the most important “don’ts” from the list.

Every wedding speech should end up with a toast dedicated to the groom and the bride: for their health, their relationship, their love, children and similar congratulations.

Finally, here’s the most important tip for making wedding speeches. As long as the person making the speech is honest, speakers from his or her heart, no matter if he or she is a good orator, the speech would be more than appreciated and remembered for a long time. So, there’s nothing to worry if you have to give a speech at a wedding – plan for the speech, write down what you want to say and practice to make sure you don’t forget the points – you will do fine.

Now let’s list of DO’s and DONTS of wedding speeches in a orderly manner to make it easier for you to remember.


  • Congratulate the bride and groom.
  • List specific details about the bride and groom; don’t speak in general terms.
  • Personal anecdotes are always great, as long as they’re not offensive.
  • Look the bride and groom in the eye as you are giving your speech.
  • Try to memorize the speech or toast, or at least have it on index cards. Don’t read off your paper.
  • Think of all the things that the other wedding guests could say about the bride and groom and say something different.
  • Plan your speech out ahead of time.
  • Don’t forget about humor; make the speech interesting and funny for those who are listening to you.
  • The ideal length is about a page written out or half a page typed.
  • Speak loudly and enunciate.
  • Change the intonation of your voice throughout your speech.
  • The tone of your speech should be happy, enthusiastic, and optimistic.
  • Be original!
  • Practice your speech.
  • When you reread your speech to yourself, think whether you would like to hear such a speech at your own wedding. If you wouldn’t, change it until you are satisfied with your own speech.
  • Stand up and smile.
  • All speeches and toasts, even the shortest ones, need a brief introduction and conclusion.


  • Don’t mumble, enunciate!
  • Don’t mention tragic or sad events in the newlyweds’ lives, even if they are significant. Weddings are joyful events and not the time for painful reminiscence. Deaths, break-ups, and illnesses are generally taboo topics for wedding speeches.
  • Don’t talk about former boyfriends and girlfriends of the newlyweds.
  • Don’t include embarrassing or very personal information about either of the newlyweds in your speech.
  • Don’t include too many personal jokes; remember that your target audience are all the wedding guests, not just the bride or groom.
  • Your speech shouldn’t be too long or too short. You don’t want the newlyweds to think that you wrote it last minute, but you also don’t want the guests to be longing for your speech to end.
  • Don’t sit during your speech.
  • Don’t frown.
  • If you want to share a personal anecdote, make sure that the newlyweds are okay with disclosing it to all the guests.
  • Be careful that your humor is not offensive.
  • Don’t improvise; at least have a general idea of what you’re going to say and practice beforehand.
  • Don’t ask too many rhetorical questions in your speech.
  • Don’t focus the speech on yourself too much; remember that this is the newlyweds’ special day.

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